1 post tagged “daydream believer”
What do you daydream about? Is it something far-fetched, or something that might actually happen?
Submitted by lost_in_eternity2207.
My answer has been the same word since I entered high school in the fall of 1999: GRADUATION
I have lived my life, since the age of 14, in 4-year segments. Those segments have consisted of fairly-organized checklists subdivided into Requirements and Expectations--each of those, of course, had their own priorities built in.
I couldn't wait to get out of high school because I hated being with the same people I had seen every day since I was 5. I hated everyone knowing my entire life story, and everything that happened to me during the day--sometimes before I knew it myself. I despised the fact that I didn't quite *fit* into any particular clique because there weren't many people to whom I could honestly relate. I just wanted to go to college. So I built up my resume, aced all my classes, gave my graduation speech, and got the hell out of Dodge!
College was tougher on me--the ideas and roles I despised as a high school student were, apparently, simultaneously of great comfort. It took me my entire first year to adjust to the idea that I had to actively *make new friends* and that no one knew anything about me unless I told him or her. I went to Columbia with my best friend and a new boyfriend from high school, but they weren't living in my dorm, and they were doing their own respective things. However, college laid another gargantuan challenge at my feet... getting into medical school. I had approximately 3.5 years to put my application together, and it all had to start my first semester. Grades, extra-curriculars, volunteering, physician shadowing, interview preparation, research, teaching, ass-kissing (especially difficult with professors you only know for 15 weeks before you'd ask them for a letter!!), networking, and then... oh, yeah, trying to have a life. I think I ended up shifting the balance more toward having a life (dating, making friends, taking jobs I liked) than on obsessing over my application status... and I'm satisfied with how things turned out. I met the man I will marry--even though I sorta rejected him the first couple of times we went out--and the two people who I can honestly call my best friends while I was in Columbia. I gained admission to a US allopathic medical school (acceptance rate is ~45% these days), and I graduated with my Bachelor of Science in Biochemistry 367 days ago on May 12, 2007. I just missed this post for my One Year Anniversary. Meh. I graduated with a great sense of relief that afternoon--both because I was finished with the hardest thing I'd ever done, and because I knew I had another destination lined up. I was going to medical school.
I started class (Gross Human Anatomy, to be more specific) this past August, and I have already nearly finished my first year. The time has absolutely flown by!! I don't feel like I've really learned much new material, but I know I've learned to think of the science I already knew in a different light. I have learned to take advantage of the silly ways I can make my brain remember things that are seemingly unassociated. I have learned that a little common sense and a modicum of organization will really save a person from looking like a total dumbass. I have learned that I already know how to talk to people, how to get their side of the story while gathering the information I will need to diagnose and treat them to the best of my ability and serving their best interests. I have floundered in the pit of uncertainty, and I have doubted myself in countless ways--but I have overcome that doubt and realized that I am here for a reason. I have three more years before I will change my occupation on all those silly pull-down menus from "Student" to "Physician/Doctor"... and one more graduation to go. May 14, 2011.
Beyond the consuming world of medical education and eventually choosing my career path, I daydream of many other things. Recently, with the choosing of my wedding date, I have begun daydreaming of how to plan the ceremony and reception, what my life will be like once I am living with Greg (instead of flying across the Midwest every 2 weeks), and how our relationship will grow and evolve as we are together longer. I daydream of our future children--their personalities, their relationships with me and their grandparents... and I wonder if any of their great-grandparents will meet them.
I have spent the last 10 years living for the distant future--the present has caught up with me. I can now slow down a bit, and I am living, for the most part, in the moment. That is inexplicably refreshing, as it allows me to reflect on the time that rushed past me while I was so frantically trying to get *here.* I have led a blessed life, and am excited to see where the next few years take me.
